Missouri Family Law Blog

You are going through a divorce. That means you are emotional, impulsive, and often irrational. I share some of the stupid moves I have seen clients make over the years with you so that you will be aware of what not to do when going through a divorce.

1. Buy girlfriend a Hummer SUV vehicle valued at $50,000. Need I say more?
2. Engage in any kind of gambling. This means going to the “boats” or worse engaging in online gambling with a bank account that can be clearly traced showing how much you spent while gambling.
3. Have sexual relations with someone who has disclosed to you that they have an STD and then have sexual relations with your spouse. Don’t rationalize this by telling me that the STD has “cleared itself up” and is really no problem.
4. Stalk, harass or otherwise follow your spouse. Even if they don’t know they are being followed it still counts. Word to the wise: the person being followed usually finds out they are being followed. Repeated phone calls when they don’t want to talk to you is also not a good idea.  This is a sure fire way to find yourself defending an order of protection or restraining order filed by your spouse.
5. Parade your girlfriend/boyfriend to extracurricular activities involving your children. You are going through a divorce. Not a good idea. Put your children ahead of your girlfriend/boyfriend and focus on what is in their best interests; not yours.
6. Bring your girlfriend/boyfriend to court with you. You think this will help your case how? It only adds fuel to the fire.
7. Get engaged while the divorce is still pending. You cannot legitimize an illegitimate relationship. This is particularly troubling while the divorce is still pending because it then begs the following questions: How big is the ring? With what funds was the ring purchased with? Is there a wedding date soon? How will the honeymoon be paid for?
8. Burn or destroy your spouse’s property. I had a client who took all of his wife’s expensive handbags, shoes, and clothing and burned them in the backyard. Contrary to the many pictures you see of the wrongdoing spouse’s furniture and possessions on the front lawn this will gain you no advantage in your divorce and usually only sets you back at least two steps.
9. Clean out the marital home. You may be afraid of him or believe all of the marital property should be awarded to you but literally taking all of the household goods out of the marital home will not gain you any favors with the judge.

10.  Threaten or otherwise show any intent to harm your spouse. I have often seen fairly normal, rational clients say things and do things they later regretted. Telling your spouse you wish she were dead, threatening to burn the house down, slashing her tires or otherwise “showing your behind” is just not a good idea.

Remember you are going through a divorce. That means you are emotional, impulsive and irrational. Before  you decide to do anything you will regret contact your attorney first. We can often put things in perspective for you and prevent you from doing something you will later regret. If you need a good attorney call our offices or check out our website at www.columbiamolawfirm.com.