Missouri Family Law Blog

In celebrity scandals, one word is popping up everywhere: sex addict.  First, Tiger Woods is a sex addict.  Then, Sandra Bullock’s philandering husband, Jesse James, enters sex rehab.  The world is left wondering: what is a sex addict?

Divorce and infidelity often come hand in hand.  Years ago, cheaters were cheaters.  But now, the term “sex addict” has begun to sneak its way into discussions about marital infidelity.  Is it just an excuse or a true mental illness?  Sex addiction is a controversial subject, even among experts. A recent NPR article notes that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM) fails to mention a diagnosis for hypersexual behavior.  However, Harvard professor and psychiatrist Dr. Martin Kafka proposes that “hypersexual disorder” be added to the DSM’s next edition.  The NPR article describes the proposed criteria for the disorder:

Criteria for hypersexual disorder would include spending a lot of time consumed by sexual fantasies and repetitively engaging in these sexual fantasies in response to stress, anxiety, boredom or depression. The person also makes repeated but unsuccessful attempts to control the behavior, and engages in the behavior disregarding the risk of physical or emotional harm for himself or others. And, to be diagnosed with hypersexuality, this behavior would have to cause the person significant distress or impairment.

What does this mean for people facing infidelity in their marriage?  Should your spouse enter treatment or does he or she deserve the boot?  In most divorce situations, it is advisable for both parties to begin meeting with a licensed therapist.  A mental health professional can help sort through your spouse’s actions allowing you to make an informed decision about whether your spouse is truly affected by a mental illness or just fumbling for the latest excuse.  Look for a licensed therapist near you through the Therapy Directory at Psychology Today.